Trauma- Big and small, How to recognize it and help?

One big misconception of trauma is that it only applies to tragic events like war, sexual assault or natural disaster. The reality is that we all experience trauma more than once in a lifetime which can come in many forms.

There are two types of trauma:

Big T (trauma) or Small t. Most of us understand the big T,and these are events that everyone who experiences it, will be severely affected by it. On the other hand, small t is about events that some may be affected by while some others won't be.

Examples of small t: losing a job, being shouted at, someone stealing your favourite item, a breakup, loss of a pet.

Let's think about less obvious signs of trauma in children. A child was involved in a mild car accident. The car from the back hit the car in which the child and his parents were. At first the child was very quiet. Parents figured that it is a way of coping for a child. When that stopped after a week or so, they figured the child recovered from that event. However, less than a week after he started crying when louder noise appeared. This is a familiar effect in many people who have experienced trauma.

Trauma healing is not linear. Often a sense of emotional or physical safety is affected. Therefore, the survivor needs to be held, emotionally supported and kept an eye on whenever their behaviour drastically changes. Usually such sudden changes may mean that trauma has occurred. Encourage them to seek or help them get help from professionals that specialize in these areas.

We cannot control what happens to us or our children or adults. Hence trauma will happen whether we want it or not. At times a child may not want to disclose what the trauma was related to or even admit that it happened. It is a parent's responsibility to recognize it, provide a sense of emotional and physical safety for a child and seek support whenever they notice certain changes. Below are some changes that can be observed.

Trauma can affect, shock, and change the following systems:

1. Cognitive: The ability to process thoughts and make good judgments

2. Emotional: Looping with emotions of shame, guilt, fear, anger, and pain

3. Physical: Muscles, joints, digestion and metabolism temperature, sleep, immune system, etc

4. Spiritual: Our worldview, the lenses with which we see reality(typically so we see it as unsafe), our understanding and meaning of life, society, and the world

5. Social: Relationships with spouses, family, friends, colleagues and strangers.

Equally some big T like sexual and emotional abuse happens often within family. lf you observe clear signs that a child or adult was abused (your child's friend, neighbour etc) you can report it. Even if you are unsure, they will listen and ask questions to help best assess the situation. It is better to call and anonymously discuss a matter with the help centre than ignore it. Ignoring the problem creates a loop where perpetrators stay free to harm more lives.

For those who would like to learn more about how to support your child throughout any trauma, I recommend reading a book "Trauma-Proofing Your Kids by Maggie Kline and Peter A Levine".

I hope this post has helped some understand the forms of trauma, if you have more insight I would love to hear about it. I hope you stay tuned for some more info and tips.

Growth4life